Gaaahhhhh.

I'm depressed.  I hate it. 

This happens every so often.  I am certain there is a rhyme or reason that I am just unaware of.  Hormones, lunar cycles, whatever.  I've never been able to pin it down. 

I notice it creeping up on me.   The need for a pep talk and running through a list of pros and cons of calling in sick before I get out of bed.  (Note:  kids are GREAT for this.  I have to get up no matter what, so I might as well just go to work!) 

It becomes a vague dissatisfaction with everything.  Mostly, a constant, low level yearning for MORE.  More what I don't exactly know.  More help from the kids dad.  More attention from my friends.  More from the people I love.  The bitch of it is that there is never enough more.  You literally cannot love me enough to fix it, because thats an external solution to an internal problem.  It has taken me years to learn that - years and relationships.  I want to shout "I'M UNHAPPY!!!  MAKE IT BETTER!!!" but there really isn't any point, because you can't.