Julie's really truly horrible awful bad day

My day:

5:00, Drew wakes up.

6:30, leave to take H to airport cause he is OOT for a week

7:30, home, breakfast, playing, I tear UP my back twisting awkwardly putting stroller in Cliff’s SUV. I am dying of pain.

9:30, go pick up grandma to go run errands. Drew sleeps in the car for over an hour while mom and I take turns running into places

11:30 Arrive at mall. Spend a half hour just walking around till damn stores open because God would be offended if I bought panties before noon. Drew refused both stroller AND a grandma carry. He wants to be carried by me or to walk with no holding hands. Ach!

12:01, complete underwear purchase (get home to find in my haste I grabbed several wrong sizes)

12:15, seated at California Pizza Kitchen, thinking food will turn the lil’ mans attitude around

12:25, request our freshly brought food be packaged TO GO.

12:30, walk out of mall struggling with my awful nack to carry my SCREAMING, kicking, bucking toddler much to the amusement of all passers by.

1:00, get home to Cliff’s phone call about his wasted business trip, our loss of $1000 (unless the DMV can help in the morning) bewcause his license is expired and if he can’t rent a car, he can’t do anything on the trip and has to just come home

3:00, run to store for dog food and necessities. Drew refuses to sit in cart seat, insists on sitting in the actual cart. I comply, which I NEVER do, as long as he sits on his bottom. I say “Sit on your bottom!” 47,548 times in the next half hour and get chewed out by an older lady (even though I never, ever stepped away or took my hand off the cart)

3:30, stuff older lady’s body in my trunk, try to decide what Tony Soprano would do with it.

5:00, make Drew dinner – grated carrots in yogurt to start. Look over to see him flinging it everywhere – my walls, my floor, the fridge door.

5:30 bathtime. Drew pees on the rug while waiting for the tub to fill, I put him in and he grabs a big stadium cup, fills it with water and dumps it OUTSIDE the tub and all over me. Then he poops in the tub.

6:00 Done with Bath 2. Go to nursery, find dog eating a poopy diaper she got from where? I have NO IDEA. Spend 15 minutes cleaing up poopy diaper remains and vaccuming up poopy gel bits.

7:30, Drew’s in bed.

I can’t decide if I should go to bed, eat a half gallon of Blue Bell, drink a bottle of Jack, or just run, run AWAY! My house looks like a tornado hit it, and I still have a body to dispose of.